i wil be still

it has been 6 days since i left reedley and i feel restless already. i dont know, i just feel the need to have a new job right away. i guess, i'm used to doing a lot of stuff that is why i feel uneasy now because i dont have anything to do yet. well, aside from the revisions for my thesis which is due this week and my review for the upcoming foreign service exams, i have nothing else to do. yesterday, i just spent the whole day watching tv and using the computer, which is not my idea of making my days productive. yeah, yeah i know i sound like a raving workaholic, which i think i am (but not too much of course!) but i cant help it. although the thought of a new career truly excites me, i cant help but feel confused. i guess leaving reedley puts me in a crossroad, wherein i dont really know where to go..im not so sure what i really want to do.

i found it funny and scary at the same time when i read my sister's blog and she has the same sentiments about leaving med school. wow, we are both clueless! is it genetic? is it in the blood? (i nullify that in Jesus' Name!) well i guess, we both want to do a lot of things that is why we dont have a clue yet of what we are really called to do. but one thing's for sure, my sister and i are destined for greater things. we are called to do things that may be bigger than ourselves, but things that would glorify God in our lives.

i told my mom about how restless i feel these days because i really have no idea where to go. i guess my organized self is trying to make sense of things and is not used to not knowing what to do. but my mom reminded me of what i told her before, that i would be still and at peace amidst everything. and yeah, i did say that before........hmmmmm...a slap in the face..hehe but then, i realized that this is the best time for me to really be still and put my faith to work.

and besides, terence told me that i should cherish all the free time that i have. at least, i'd be well rested before i get back to work. i realized that he's right..i've never really had a break from work without thinking about the things i have to do. i better make the most out of this time. relax, relax, relax!

i may not know what is ahead of me....well in fact, i dont have to know now. because i believe that God will reveal it to me in His time and His favor will be upon me. I will be still because i know that He is God. not knowing what lies ahead really scares me, but i believe that He is in control, not me. I will find favor in the eyes of men because the Lord lives in me.


-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-@-

i am planning to go to this bridal fair on saturday at rockwell tent. i am excited. well, i hope it wont freak terence out cuz it's a bit early to plan for our 2009 wedding, but it helps to be prepared. i want both of us to have an idea of what we want for our wedding. though they say that weddings are for the brides, i want our wedding to be something we both want and would enjoy. i really want it to be special...of course, its not about the cake, the dress or other stuff..but i want it to be something we would look back at fondly for the rest of our lives. heehee i get mushy whenever that subject comes up. dont blame me, i will only get married once..i better make it good. =)